Ode To Bleach

Today Kenny gasped as he moved some newspaper and Camryn-birthday-present project pieces from the corner of the kitchen and discovered that his "paint indoors to save time" idea ended up getting paint mist all over the linoleum. I was worried, but the linoleum was already scuffed, old, torn in some areas, and covered in paint drips from the last tenants, so it wasn't like this was a shocking alteration to our floor. I watched, concerned, as Kenny trotted out our gallon of "lavender-scented" bleach and began pouring it in strategic puddles, then warned him that scrubbing the problem spots without gloves would have unhappy consequences for his hands. He shrugged me off and kept scrubbing, so my eyes drifted back to what I was doing (nothing important) until I heard him say, "Oh, my gosh - come look at this!"

I peered at the spot he had just scratched at with a sponge and made a startling discovery - our kitchen floor wasn't ecru/grayish, but actually white. Don't get me wrong - I routinely and conscientiously vacuum and mop my floor each week with my brand new Swiffer Wet Jet, moving items around or onto the carpet to get at every corner of my kitchen. However, it was obvious to us as we beheld the freshly-scrubbed patch of white that the Swiffer Wet Jet was doing nothing but sanitizing built-up dirt and grime that had accumulated over years of use. I immediately grabbed another sponge, dawned gloves, and filled up a bucket of bleach and water to unearth the rest of our captive kitchen linoleum. Together we battled years of relative neglect until the entire floor was sparkling. I laughed as we worked side by side and remarked, "This is like when the Sistine Chapel was restored after centuries of candle smoke and no one could believe the brilliant colors underneath!" Kenny urged me to grab my camera so we could capture the "before" and "after" effects, and I share them with you below. As Ken put it, thank goodness we discovered this before our folks come in next week! I thanked him for being naughty and using spray paint in the house, as we would never have discovered our true kitchen floor otherwise!

I love bleach. Bathroom floor, here I come!

Close-up. Ew. (Tilt your screen up for maximum effect.)



And a perspective shot.